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Information for parents and caregivers

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Growing Great Girls.

November 2010

Staying Aware of Teen Violence

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Girls in tears.Imagine this: your 15-year-old daughter, Amanda, comes home after a night at the movies with friends, including her new boyfriend. She is clearly upset and heads straight to her room and shuts the door. You follow her upstairs. From outside her closed door, you listen to her talking on her cell phone with her best friend.

“I’m sure he didn’t mean it,” Amanda says. She is crying. There is silence for a minute while her friend speaks. “Well, no, that wasn’t the first time he hit me,” Amanda says into the phone.

Mom? Dad? It’s time for you to get involved. Don’t wait another moment.

Teen dating violence is not an argument every once in a while, or a bad mood after a bad day. Dating violence is regular violent behavior that someone uses against their partner to cause pain. It can be physical abuse, emotional abuse, or sexual force. Young women and teens have higher rates of violence and abuse in their relationships than older women.

Why does this happen?

So why does violence happen between teens? Well, it is related to certain “risk factors.” (Risk factors are things that increase the likelihood that something will happen.) Teens are more likely to have unhealthy relationships when they:

  • Believe it's okay to use threats or violence to get their way or to express frustration or anger
  • Use alcohol or drugs
  • Can't manage anger or frustration
  • Hang out with violent peers
  • Have a friend involved in dating violence
  • Have low self-esteem or are depressed
  • Have learning difficulties and other problems at school
  • Don't have parental supervision and support
  • Witness violence at home or in the community
  • Have a history of aggressive behavior or bullying

Your daughter doesn’t have to have all – or even any – of these risk factors to be in a violent relationship, though. These risk factors just make it more likely that she will be in a dangerous relationship.

Why is it important to stop teen dating violence?

Besides the fact that you want to keep your daughter safe and healthy now, remember that teen relationships may affect dating relationships later in life. The lessons teens learn today about respect, healthy versus unhealthy relationships, and what is right or wrong may carry over into future relationships. So, it is important that teens know and understand what a healthy relationship should be. You are your teen’s best role model. If you think your daughter is in a controlling or abusive relationship, don’t let her work it out on her own. Get involved and keep her safe.

Want to learn more about preventing and responding to dating violence?

 

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U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Office on Women's Health

 

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Content last updated November 03, 2010

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Office on Women's Health.

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